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The Bastard Left Me EP

by Jessica Grace

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1.
I bin skillfully avoiding the mirror For half an hour now... To get paid for filing my nails would be a blessing But it would get tired out And what about the hoovering? The washing up? Taking the dog to the park? Doing the work that should've been done a year ago? Put it in some sort of order or some sort of small list And what needs to be done is done Everything else is all What is in you that I want, that I can't find in myself? Freezing my bollocks off, not that I have them Just because I feel I don't deserve more Being invisible, a good friend or contact Does not replace the reverie we have in store Need to believe that Need to trust in me, need to trust in you Got to have faith in everything we are Receiving your letter does not make up for all the times you loved me All the times you left me What is in you that I want, that I can't find in myself? Stripped down to nothing, I lay on the bed You held my feet in your hands You told me you'd never take advantage Never use it against me Not knowing of my plan To ruin it entirely Bet you feel a bit stupid, now Feel like you took advantage, now Like a caveman, all fired up? My plea to you: Go beyond it Stake your life on it Don't shy away like the coward you usually are What is in you that I want, that I can't find in myself?
2.
There's a part of my body That will always weep for you In the morning You keep your condensation to (for) yourself I'll be on my way To Tower Bridge In my damp jeans Text my mum Tell her I'm still in love With you I Can't free him from himself His milky bones devoid of health Can I free you, though? I don't think so When your cage is so open The keys in the mouth of a faithful hound Panting at your every word Run away from him Climb a tree Forget me Touch my neck Your missile thick and hard Against my thighs It means nothing to me You fucking pansy Beat me Breach me Hymen still in view Your solid crown came crashing to the ground I Can't free him from himself His milky bones devoid of health Can I free you, though? I don't think so When your cage is so open The keys in the mouth of a faithful hound Panting at your every word Run away from him Climb a tree Forget me Lick it when my nose runs Under the callous of a hungry thumb He fidgets and frets Bring me to your knees love Share you two day old grub You gave me a fork I'll stab it in your foot Roll over Take your sweaty hand From under my shoulder Grow up Wank in the shower It's all up to you You're alone now Love (Fuck)
3.
Defy Me 03:55
Why don't you defy me I don't have all the answers now I don't if my decisions are right I'm all over the place now Still getting off on the chase Never quite sure what to do now When I catch up with you Or you catch up with me still Completely dedicated In some choice moments To falling To rapture To no safety net When I was the one asking for safety When I was the one making holes in the net So I may be powerful, daring Doing all that Which is why you may not dare defy me Completely dedicated In some choice moments To falling But I need someone to tell me I'm wrong To be knocked down off this pedestal I carved myself from cardboard and Sellotape For it won't withstand my weight Completely dedicated In some choice moments To falling Fickle to allow your Rough fingers inside me It was like war Oblivious to small wounds Shrapnel piercing Non-essential organs There was a war going on
4.
I heard a word Sisters on sisters We came first You and me silently I'll sit here Cardigan threadbare Take your boat Sail out to sea It was love No fireworks and cheese straws Just a line between you and I Felt drunk And somehow appeased, boy With (by) all the nothing we had in store I'll move Forget you We'll lose We're fine A river between us Forget the line 'If you run I will find you' Forget the line 'I will never let you go' Forget the time It's transient in this world I'll move Forget you We'll lose I'm bruised Not from you I do I choose
5.
Chilled thigh Water spilled Freezes the bone She sighs Not tonight Just give me a warm hand To forget what's real I don't have to feel La la la la la la la la la la la la Family traits Of spillages And the passing of a song Never sung to her To a man she don't own Joyfully thrown La la la la la la la la la la la la She can cry And vilify If she wants She won't die But can't deny Her various faults Come and see but stop looking at me No one really sees me Do do do do do do do do do do do do
6.
He said I love you I try hard not to So what is this thing making me feel blue? This evil that keeps me from your door Maybe it's good That keeps me (from) wanting But not taking more She provided him All he thought he wanted Only to find This nothingness inside So if you have nothing You have nothing to give And he left Not knowing why Not in spite of this He was a King He went through my things He didn't see He didn't know me So maybe now is the time He gives them back Ignores the sparkles And sees what really shines To give something a fighting chance The key is to leave well alone In her humble opinion She thought she'd grown Of course a shrub Turns into a baby tree Baby you never knew me He was a King He went through my things He didn't she He didn't know me So maybe now is the time He gives them back Ignores the sparkles And sees what really shines I wound you up Have to watch that How much satisfaction there is When confronted by your anger A reaction that's controllable? Is it possible just to eat the cake But not to have it I don't need to own it So the tall ankle boots made me feel like a woman And you were probably thinking What happened to that girl? With the flip flops And long toenails Here's me assuming you thought of me at all Here's the thing She morphed at (the hands) of your libido If you don't want things to change You shouldn't wave your penis around so willingly Why's it always me Says she To take responsibility
7.
Lemur Intro 01:25
8.
Pansy 2 01:39
There's a part of my body That will always weep for you Optimistic or deluded? Sick tired sick tired sick tired sick tired Or just thick Pig headed Dreaming about All the things I Never said
9.
This hot wash Is making me dizzy Pulled a hole In my rubber glove Clammy hand Glanced at self in the mirror I look hot, babe And you're away I made Pancakes On this Tuesday I feel a bit gay Clammy hand Glanced at self in the mirror I look hot, babe And you're away All these things I didn't say I will continue not to say I won't say We could grow old and fat together but I won't say that I need you You shit Okay some things I do say Clammy hand Glanced at self in the mirror I look hot, babe And you're away All these things I didn't say I will continue not to say I'm just too busy Being inferior So for now I will not say
10.
Lemur Outro 00:45
11.
There's nothing more detrimental to a friendship Than making people feel inferior It's par for the course Forced out with force My wounds I find Still need to heal Father figure Weight of gold You're still making causes You don't know what for You don't know what for You judger You preacher You'd be the teacher Who takes girls into your bed after school It's hard to admit Encouraging it Is something we all do We're all fools Father figure Weight of gold You're still making causes You don't know what for You don't know what for She sent me a text She'd hate me forever If I told you how she really feels Disgusted I was The girl is undone And you're basking in your headstrong ideals Father figure Weight of gold You're still making causes You don't know what for I'm still judging I'm still affected I'm still afflicted I'll shut your door I'll shut your door again
12.
Oh Crescent Moon I never saw you It got to high noon And I missed you Writing songs all day I never thought to say How I loved you And I loved you Oh I love you Oh tall man I never got over you Many stories told Have no ending To emotionally conclude Is it what I create Fixing my life state With 'I hate you' And I hate you But I loved you Maybe a new day Will bring less pain If you only knew what I go through Surely you'd come here and fix me Like a modern lover should do Instead I wait and cling to My self hate and ideals While you're screwing Grace No.2 Maybe a new day Will bring less pain

about

old mixes can be found here: www.wearsthetrousers.com/2009/02/free-music-valentines-jessica-grace/

Track 1 taken from the debut album Insert Quirky Title Here...; all subsequent demo tracks © 2007 Jessica Grace Everitt, except ‘Crescent Moon’ which is from 2008. All songs written and performed by Jessica Grace Everitt.

credits

released February 14, 2009

’Forget The Time’ features Jess Bryant on backing vocals, Andy Raeburn's drums, and Dunny from Sevenball's slide guitar

‘Father Figure’ features Eric Walker on electric guitar

'Defy Me' features Lydia (Rosered) on the bass

Cover design - Alan Pedder

Mastered by Kev @ Pinna

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all rights reserved

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about

Jessica Grace Oxford, UK

Raised by wolves in the heart of England, Sniff Sniff used her experience in the wilderness to hunt for nuts and berries. At that point she founded Jessica Grace, using excess berries to fuel the upload of the songs and wolf spit to power her laptop.

Her more recent work is a mixture of synth pop, acoustic lyrical folk, alternative and indie-ish.
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