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by Jessica Grace

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04:10
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04:58
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04:50

credits

released July 9, 2010

All words & Music written by Jessica Grace except excerpts on 'Poor You' - written by Jamie McDonald
All tracks produced and engineered by Jessica Grace with a lot of help from Johnny duToit, except for 'Poor You' when Johnny was promoted to Executive Producer, and also a little help from Meri Everitt and probably most of the people on the list below
Mixed by Jessica Grace and Johnny duToit except tracks 6 & 7 mixed by Kevin Feazy @ Pinna Productions
Mastered by Tom Leader
Cover photo by Andy www.caerphoto.com.
Rest of photo's taken by Jessica Grace or Dave Everitt.
'Hunger' drawn by Jessica Grace


Musicians:
Guitar & Vocals, Glasses, Tambourine, Bell, Shaker, Mock Violin - Jessica Grace
Violins - Katy Bignold
Drums - Andy Raeburn
Bass - Johnny duToit
Additional Vocals on FYBO - Ross Wilson
Additional guitar on Ruby - Dave Everitt (that's my dad)
Kazoos on What is it in You? - Rosered/Lydia the Pixie
Electric guitar on Away for the Weekend - Federico Pieroni
Kick Drum on Obsessing - Johnny duToit & Jessica Grace
Pub noise on Obsessing - from live performance @ Bed Springs
Background voices on Ether - Andy Raeburn, Andrew Dunn, Ross Wilson
Cymbals on Ruby - Andy Raeburn, arranged by Jessica Grace
Grand Piano on Poor You - Johnny duToit


Thanks to: all that participated in the making of this album
Special thanks to: Meri, Edwina, David, Angie, Rob,
Tula Turanska, Olivia Flenley, Tom Flude, Nadia Morgan, Johnny duToit, Jess Bryant & Andy Raeburn, Paul Hearn, Melayneee, Kimiyo Sawai, Katy Bignold, Sam Patterson, Bozena and Feder, Eva lovely Eva, Jamie McDonald, Miranda Quammie, Dunny and Sevenball, Ross Wilson and Blue Rose Code, Sam Whates, Justin Stoneman, Lise Regan, Sonny & Kev @ Pinna, Lydia (Rosered), Jo Bailey and WIMN, Cris Tanzi & Alex, Dave & Olly @ Bed Springs, Tim @ Freedom of Expression, James Yuill, Cat @ Room for Pudding, Derya (and Nilay!) Nagle, Deborah and all past and present at Maya, Lewis and Avery, Eric Walker, Andy photoman, Francis Booth, Mark Stevens, Paul @ Automatic Management, TFL for all their funny busking rules, Nick Button. Edmonton District, and my lilac team ’06-‘08! This album is dedicated to my mentor, Daisaku Ikeda, for without the efforts he has made throughout his entire life, for the happiness of his fellow human beings, I would still be getting stoned in my home town flat watching TV.

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about

Jessica Grace London, UK

Raised by wolves in the heart of England, Sniff Sniff used her experience in the wilderness to hunt for nuts and berries. At that point she founded Jessica Grace, using excess berries to fuel the upload of the songs and wolf spit to power her laptop.

Her more recent work is a mixture of synth pop, acoustic lyrical folk, alternative and indie-ish.
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Track Name: Bus Driver
Feel like a bus driver in London Town
Driving between the cones of fearless nutters
I'm a bit mad myself
And I have them lining up
But I don't care
I want you

I see you looking/staring/fighting/hiding/jumping
But I see you running

Feel like a taxi driver in London town
Charging thirty pounds to fearful nutters
I'm a bit mad myself
And I have them lining up
But I don't care
I want you
Track Name: What Is It In You? (explicit lyrics)
I bin skillfully avoiding the mirror
For half an hour now...
To get paid for filing my nails would be a blessing
But it would get tired out
And what about the hoovering? The washing up?
Taking the dog to the park?
Doing the work that should've been done a year ago?
Put it in some sort of order or some sort of small list
And what needs to be done is done
Everything else is all

What is in you that I want, that I can't find in myself?

Freezing my bollocks off, not that I have them
Just because I feel I don't deserve more
Being invisible, a good friend or contact
Does not replace the reverie we have in store
Need to believe that
Need to trust in me, need to trust in you
Got to have faith in everything we are
Receiving your letter does not make up for all the times you loved me
All the times you left me

What is in you that I want, that I can't find in myself?

Stripped down to nothing, I lay on the bed
You held my feet in your hands
You told me you'd never take advantage
Never use it against me
Not knowing of my plan
To ruin it entirely
Bet you feel a bit stupid, now
Feel like you took advantage, now
Like a caveman, all fired up?
My plea to you: Go beyond it
Stake your life on it
Don't shy away like the coward you usually are

What is in you that I want, that I can't find in myself?
Track Name: Away for the Weekend
Is it fair if I say
You were never there
Not really
And you're not now
Down in the basement
I said, "you have a lovely house"
But it sounded fake
As if I didn't belong

"Me and him we went away for the weekend
(in my head [we've never really been away])"
Something in this head should stop me from speaking
'Less there's any kind of truth in what I say

You know you feel like this 'cos he reminds you
Of someone who bullied you at school
And you can't shake the feeling
So you can't shake the action
And feel like a fool

"Me and him we went away for the weekend
(in my head [we've never really been away])"
Something in this head should stop me from speaking
'Less there's any kind of truth in what I say
Oh Maggie, I'm so glad you could make it
Friendly faces are so rarely come across
Is it you or me that stops me from breaking?
We'll never know but I'm thankful it's your loss

"Last night," he said, "I dreamed about this
You told your friends you were leaving and got your coat
With a blue lighter
There's two things that could happen here..."
Track Name: Ether
It's gone
It's done
It's out in the ether
Now Ether can do what he likes with it
General hunger
Commanded the nondescript
Now, what was it I wanted again?

S'you...
She said, 'should I have hope?'
I said, 'I only have hope from the need'

Are you wistful?
Are you nothing at all?
Are you like me?
Sometimes fine in company
Are you scared?
Are you excited?
Are you lost?
Still with a lack of quadrupedal company?

There is no way of knowing now
Except to touch the heart from all the way over here
She said, 'should I have hope?'
I said, 'I only have hope from the need'
Track Name: F.Y.B.O. (explicit lyrics)
So then muttering under my breath:
"Earthly Desires are Enlightenment"
While I squeeze your hand
What I really wanted, though
Was to mutter that under my breath
And fuck your brains out
Rings a bell, waiting for your boat to come
It's my hell, but it's getting easier to tell
What to do with you...
So much hidden in soft focus
Your hedonism explanation was the death of us
Take your leave
Do away with me
Enjoy your exploits freely
Have your way with them, not me
If I could speak to you now, tell you all about, what I'd learned, what I enjoy
'T'd all be wasted on you, boy
How very sane how very 'Zen'
Unfilial selfish man
Your face comes up here and then
I won't be fooled by you again
I hate you
Because you know
I am a victim
More than most
He said I think too much
I said I think too much but I thought right
Track Name: Looking for Trouble
I was asking for trouble
But trouble never came
Always the way
Where did you all disappear to?
I don't play hide and seek with myself
My hiding place is always too good
Always gave up on finding myself

Who will be in at 9pm on a Saturday?
Always the way
Could've stayed and got drunk and desperate
Manhandled by the boys
"Freedom exists to make you resist"
Or is it: "make you enjoy"?
I've forgotten...
At two he left
For hours I skirted the subject
A way to reject
Now he's gone again
Lovely boy, makes my heart go fast
Small hours of losing sleep
In (oh!) fine pleasures
There's no treasuring this
It's too fine to measure
I went looking for trouble
But trouble never came
Always the way
Track Name: Oh! the Drama
Oh! The drama!
Know the drama well...
Replay it in time 'fore hell freezes over
From love to fear from greed to money
I hope I dream you will come back to me
Not fame or fortune cool or status
I hope I pray I dream I wait
Flow into me
Throw things at me
Do me against the wall
Fall head over heels
But don't get boring
Feel sorry and worried for you
For there's nothing behind your eyes
But everyone thinks you're cool
So that's okay then
Track Name: Obsessing
Walking down the street with my dog on the lead and a spring in my feet
Mind wanders off at speed, pictures you on my front porch waiting for me
All these feelings are kind of embarrassing
I am a strong woman with 'things' in my head
Other than you, other than you
Well right now only really you

You set yourself up for a fall, girl
If he wants to see you he'll call you
Well done for not calling him
But obsessing will not bring you anything

Pictures of pictures of pictures of my recollection of what we had
On my land you may well be but Clapham's a way from Edmonton
Why do I think you'd come here to me
There are more salubrious places to be
Make me indifferent, content or angry
Just not this mad woman you (well, I) made me

You see
You just fell into the time you had with me
When you were given the choice you were away
What makes me yearn for that, my sweet?
Player of many
Mirror for me
Track Name: Ruby
Thank you Ruby
For giving me respect
For you, and me, and everybody
Oh, it will be
Harder than that threepenny
To see you away kindly
Without falling to my knees
She said: 'Try and imagine her as a wave'
He can't handle me
When it's falling away from me
And he has his own grief
To swallow him up momentarily
And he won't speak
'Less he's spoken to and asked:
'Are you okay? No, really?'
Without falling to his knees
She said: 'Try and imagine her as a wave'
But I can't get the picture out of my mind
Of her lying on the bed, dead
And I'm sorry to the family who have kindly adopted me
For the crude account I have recorded
Thank you Ruby
For being the boss of me
And him, and everybody
Oh, it will be
Harder than that threepenny
To see you away kindly
Without falling to my knees
I fell
Track Name: Respect for Self
'You're giving them compassion if you pull them up,' she advised
'S'not really helping them if you're scared and they're ill advised'

What's the use of having respect, utmost, for all souls
If you have none, you give none, create none
For yourself?

Got to be careful when I speak to him, emotion sometimes comes first
When it's from the heart they know, make sure the head does not come first

It's easy to believe in something when someone's there and wise
It's when they go, you have to hold it in your heart and make you wise
Track Name: Poor You
I see you're confused, and I feel for you
You did not ask for my abuse, my anger towards you
For in my mind, you did the most unkind behaviour
Witnessed by a fallen girl
But that's not fair
You were not even there, my friend
As time passes I see

Poor you
Looking at you with my face like thunder
I went under the table to get my lighter
You must think I don't like you but in fact I love you
It means nothing when it happens just all of a sudden
It means nothing when it happens every single week

This hunger will not ever cease, I want to explain it to you
I carved you out to be my release, I never got that from you
Now in my mind, I am the most unkind
S'sanoshima, it is not real, it is not real
But 'god' from here
I will not let the fear denote my actions in this life