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Unbecoming

by Jessica Grace

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1.
She Threw her arms around And he Put his finger there And they Didn't care about the world And one day I'm gonna make it there And somehow I'm gonna kill those girls Baby He doesn't care about the world But he cares about himself She Saw him put his finger there On someone else Made her stop and stare Baby he doesn't care about the world And one day She's gonna realise What's fair There's a flaw in there Baby He doesn't care about the world But he cares about himself Here in your house Hearing your voice Down on the floor I need this life Hearing your voice You make me breathe You make me And I wake up With some kind of Apprehension I wake up With the fear That you'll do something I'll regret 'Cause you don't care about the world He fucked his way up there (So I don't know what it is I've lost) Wise words he didn't care for (Or even if it was ever mine) Made her stop and stare (But my life has been changed somehow) Made her shut the door (By your twisted face in time By your twisted face)
2.
For constant reassurance She’d never tire of the words She’d get pissed off, mind From being ignored No gleaming eyes No look of love inside this cold heart It’s the end of the world Don’t think of resolution/revolution It’s out of my hands Don’t think elucidation/vindication It’s out of my hands Don’t think of repulsion/revulsion Cause we’ll all go there Think Annihilation/illumination It’s all in his hands All in his hands It’s like we never met Glazed over all the impurities And fed on the thoughts of each other He’s learned his lesson well But they all do after a session with me It’s the end of the world It’s like a pay per view but you view all the time What happens if you don’t like what you see? I have a mountain of salt for every pinch I took But if the food is bland don’t blame the cook Blame yourself
3.
Sleep with me In scorched sheets Land treated And where nothing grows So Sleep with me here On salted Earth Know this That the deeper I look There's no smoking please And know I'm shallower Still That sex would make me That love would be a goal That I haven't already Had it all And that I have Start it well It started well But I know I am Barren And have made it so So sleep with me here You can smell the burning And see no smoke rising No boiling sea No salted Earth That sex would make me That love would be a goal That I haven't already Had it all And that I have Today to be found I am dripping through the ceiling He put his arms around me And tried to throw me down the steps And I am found I am getting through this daytime His eyes beamed So I noticed He may have kissed me drunkenly But I can't remember because I was sober Today to be found And I am losing this feeling He ran off because it was raining And I'd knocked him back And I am found And I am dripping through the ceiling
4.
Oh Dear 04:05
I've always love falling in love Not love But falling in love So I did Never got me far You were always one step ahead When I finally became free You were tied up Locked up again Again Again 'Oh dear' I say to myself 'What have I done? Oh, what have I done' I say 'Oh dear' I say to myself 'What have I, have I done?' And I can Picture your mouth there Close Then it disappears I am alone here I am alone here You are somewhere And I am alone here 'Oh dear' I say to myself 'What have I done? Oh, what have I done' I say 'you stupid, you stupid girl What have you, have you done?' Am I your friend yet? I can't tell through the glaze Sometimes fantasies Get wrapped up in themselves But I like that I wonder if you do I wonder if you think of me When you're... When you're... 'Oh dear' I say to myself 'What have I done? Oh, what have I done' I say 'you stupid, you stupid girl What have you, have you done?' Am I your friend yet? I can't tell through the glaze That's the crack I fall in Every time I look at your face That's the crack I'm pulling Every time I see you 'Oh dear' I say to myself 'Oh dear' I say to myself 'Oh dear' I say to myself 'What have I done?'
5.
Don't make me sing 'Cause if that's what you're thinking I won't know what I'm doing And I need to know 'Cause life has got to amount To something My friend Tom's pissed 'Cause my sister stood him up And he doesn't realise That she does that And I would never But I'm here with my head out the window And my best friend in the world Is somewhere in dreamland Don't make me sing 'Cause if that's what you're thinking I won't know what I'm doing And I need to know 'Cause life has got to amount To something 'Cause if that's what you're doing I don't need no protrusion And I need to go 'Cause I'm not the girl For this job And I'm trying to be proactive But it's sunny And I'm not sure I enjoy this New found freedom But there's no-one I care to share it with Except myself And him in dreamland Don't make me sing 'Cause if that's what you're thinking I won't know what I'm doing And I need to know 'Cause life has got to amount To something 'Cause if that's what you're doing I don't need no protrusion And I need to go 'Cause I'm not the girl For this job No No no no No no no No no no And I wonder if the popular Think as much as me And if they run out of one friend They can get more And if I'm pissing him off I shouldn't call Don't make me sing 'Cause if that's what you're thinking I won't know what I'm doing And I need to know 'Cause life has got to amount To something 'Cause if that's what you're doing I don't need no protrusion And I need to go 'Cause I'm not the girl For this job No
6.
When it’s a choice of violation And a choice of war There isn’t really a choice You know the score And does it really make sense To lose your sense And lose your friends And lose your innocence All I could think Was ‘get off’ All I could think Was ‘get your fucking hands off’ But I couldn’t get you off And why should I Want you off? And was it really so bad To say you had No life But to keep me from living mine? When all there was Within that life Was yours to keep I did no crime All I could say was ‘sorry’ A hundred times ‘I’m sorry’ And promise To give you My all Tomorrow morning So you wanna... And sit in the dark Ignoring me Thinking you're right With all my scars It wasn’t me Who was wrong I said 'no' You were wrong I was flung From wall to wall But I should go Think about what I’ve done When there’s a choice of life and a choice of death It doesn’t really matter if your basic needs are met And with all this choice you think I would’ve Left you there with your hard on
7.
Pills, bottles and ash Lined up, uniform No slips ups No colloquialism At your command, sir Until we fall over And there is a line of madness... I dreamt my sister was addicted And I hate confrontation And the refusal Don't think I don't know what's attractive Sweetheart I know it's not me But it could be And there is a line of madness... Clear as day Closer than the horizon But still Far away I'd love to be the one smoking the cigar At ground zero But Mr Waters as you know well I'm the one who'll run like hell A shadow of nothing An imaginary cell A small girl You never knew that well You know I'm the one Who'll run like hell And there is a line of madness... Clear as day Closer than the horizon But still Far away From rags to riches Into white trash Lined up No uniform Plenty of slip-ups Listening to received pronunciation of slang Mr Waters you know They're the brave girls who never ever ran And there is a line of madness... Clear as day Closer than the horizon But still Far away
8.
For constant reassurance She’d never tire of the words She’d get pissed off, mind From being ignored No gleaming eyes No look of love inside this cold heart It’s the end of the world Don’t think of resolution/revolution It’s out of my hands Don’t think elucidation/vindication It’s out of my hands Don’t think of repulsion/revulsion Cause we’ll all go there Think Annihilation/illumination It’s all in his hands All in his hands It’s like we never met Glazed over all the impurities And fed on the thoughts of each other He’s learned his lesson well But they all do after a session with me It’s the end of the world It’s like a pay per view but you view all the time What happens if you don’t like what you see? I have a mountain of salt for every pinch I took But if the food is bland don’t blame the cook Blame yourself
9.
Sleep with me In scorched sheets Land treated And where nothing grows So Sleep with me here On salted Earth Know this That the deeper I look There's no smoking please And know I'm shallower Still That sex would make me That love would be a goal That I haven't already Had it all And that I have Start it well It started well But I know I am Barren And have made it so So sleep with me here You can smell the burning And see no smoke rising No boiling sea No salted Earth That sex would make me That love would be a goal That I haven't already Had it all And that I have Today to be found I am dripping through the ceiling He put his arms around me And tried to throw me down the steps And I am found I am getting through this daytime His eyes beamed So I noticed He may have kissed me drunkenly But I can't remember because I was sober Today to be found And I am losing this feeling He ran off because it was raining And I'd knocked him back And I am found And I am dripping through the ceiling

credits

released January 1, 2002

Recorded with Pat Gardiner at Bedlam Studios, Nottingham
Photographs by Faye Chamberlain

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Jessica Grace Oxford, UK

Raised by wolves in the heart of England, Sniff Sniff used her experience in the wilderness to hunt for nuts and berries. At that point she founded Jessica Grace, using excess berries to fuel the upload of the songs and wolf spit to power her laptop.

Her more recent work is a mixture of synth pop, acoustic lyrical folk, alternative and indie-ish.
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